The topic for this week in my year 7 English class was “Goals and Self-reflection” and I woke up this morning wondering these things myself. I wondered what my goals have been over these past few years. But mostly I woke up wondering about myself and where I am right now in my life.
I asked my kids what are their strengths? What are their weaknesses? What did they find difficult and what motivates them?
And if I had to ask myself those questions right now I wouldn’t really know the answers.
But I think that’s okay?
Yet they’re on my mind a hazy periphery, borderline obsession. Mostly I think about the future. I think about benchmarks, stock points, places of interest in my own history where I can look back and place that time, that experience, that feeling.
So I sit here smiling, happy, uncertain almost indefinitely, but happy nonetheless.
But I hope I look back on this picture and I remember. I remember a time in my life where I’m doing things that challenge me. I’m doing things that make me think, but also make me wonder if it’s what I’m meant to be doing? I’m in a new place that I’ve never been to before, a country that is so unlike my own yet familiar.
I think after being “on the run” for so long the unfamiliar is familiar, a comfortable reminder that even hardships can be overcome with repetition, just like the goals we set for the future. And so what if you haven’t achieved them yet? You’re here aren’t you? You’re doing it, smiling and remembering the past, anxious for a comfortable future, but still living, breathing, in and out —reflection.
So don’t forget dear, Reader we’re all confused and mixed up and we don’t have it together, but we’re doing it. We’re getting there, and as long as we can look back and remember where we’ve been, perhaps we can smile in the future remembering this time, this place, this experience— a self reflection in a minimalist place with a sassy pink flamingo who goes by the alias Veronica.